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    Saturday
    Nov142009

    It's just a fictional Jim Henson

    So I've doing my NaNoWriMo thing all month, and last night, I was very tired, and this weird conversation came out of me.  I think it's almost better without context, so here it is:

    “Jack, you’re gonna have to drive for a while.  I think I’m losing it.”

    This startled Jack awake, who had apparently been sleeping while sitting straight up with his eyes open.  At that instant, he shouted “Henson!”

    Ted squinted his eyes with curiosity.  “Did you just yell Henson?”
    “No.”
“Yes you did.  You woke up with a start and yelled ‘Henson’.  Is that like, Jim Henson?”
    Jack was sheepish. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
    “Why would you say that?  Oh my God.  Do you have a thing against Jim Henson?”
    “Really, Ted.  I just don’t want to-- Listen, do you just want me to drive?”
    “Don’t change the subject on me.  Tell me about Henson.”
    “Nothing, it’s just that sometimes I have, you know, nightmares about him.”
    “You have nightmares about Jim Henson?”
    “What’s so strange about that?  It’s the same thing every time.  He steals my puppets, and burns then, and laughs in my face, stealing my wife.”
    “That... that is not OK, Jack.  By all accounts, he was a wonderful man.”
    “Sure, that’s what people who didn’t know him say.  The guy was a class-A prick.”
    “You’re saying the guy who created Big Bird was--”
    “Huge prick.  Yes.”
    “What did he--”
    “Fucked my sister.”
    “What?”
    “Just to prove he could.  He even showed me a Polaroid of it.  He lived to torment me.”
    “I don’t believe you.”

    With that, Jack leaned over, and rummaged through his bag again, and produced a very old Polaroid photo of Jim Henson right in the middle of a sex act with a young woman.

    “Holy shit! Why do you even have that?” yelled Ted.
    “Because I need to prove it.  The guy is a humanitarian hero to millions, but to me, he’s the guy who fucked my sister, just to mess my shit up. That’s how he got to be number one.  Ruthless cold fuck, he was.”
    “I didn’t know.”
    “No one does, Ted.  No one does.”

    Reader Comments (10)

    "Do you have a think against Jim Henson?” You mean thing?

    November 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAniz Ansari

    Hah! Excellent. I love it when you just follow a scene and something bizarre and unexpected like this comes out. Good stuff, man. Look foward to one day reading the entire thing. ;)

    November 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave Accampo

    What typo? You saw nothing...

    November 14, 2009 | Registered CommenterJosh Flanagan

    Now I'm no expert on American libel laws, but I'd expect a writ from the estate of Mr Henson if I were you!

    November 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCKL

    Hahahaha, that's awesome!

    November 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

    I want to say that this is the most awesome thing you've ever written. I kind of almost died laughing while reading this. I've got a book in the planning stages that starts off purporting that Ernest Hemingway actually killed himself because of a demonic venereal disease/tentacle monster given to him by a succubus woman which was slowly driving him insane. So as you can tell by that bit of insanity I love mining real historical and pop culture figures lives and creating fictional tidbits about them in my stories! Good on you!

    November 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeviticusPrime

    Very funny Josh. Awesome that you have stuck with the NaNoWriMo, you are half way there. Are you going to let us read the whole thing once finished or is this just for you?

    November 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick

    they have an english accent dont they ?!

    November 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFBP

    You know, I don't know what I'm going to do with it afterwards. Let me finish it first, and I'll figure it out. I think it would need some re-writing before it was fit for public consumption, but then maybe it would be neat to just put it out there in the raw form. I'm not sure. I can tell you this: don't set your expectations too high, because it is *rough*.

    November 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJosh

    That was great. I'ld love to read more. Hope you find the time to get it published.

    December 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrandon

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